Edie's Chocolate Chip Cookies

Recipe from Edie Aldridge.

This is a double recipe. I rarely make anything less. With cookies, too much is never enough.  (Note from Marcie:  Read through the directions first before making these cookies.  You'll see why.)

2 c. butter or shortening
1˝ c. brown sugar
1˝ c. white sugar
4 eggs
2 tsp. vanilla
2 tsp. baking soda
2 tsp. salt
5 c. flour
3 c. semi-sweet chocolate chips or M&Ms

Before you make the cookies, consider why you are making them. Yes, I know you are making them to eat them, but the question is: when do you want to eat them? If you want to eat them the self-same day that they are baked, use butter. Butter-based cookies taste yummy, but they do not hold up well over time. (You may substitute margarine for butter, but butter tastes better. Live a little; diets are made to be broken.) If you want to eat the cookies over a period of a few days or so, be sure to use shortening. Cookies made with shortening are scrumptious and will last longer but tend to be a tad bit greasy. If you are making M&M cookies, be sure to use shortening; it just works better. Also use the following amounts for sugars and flour: 2 c. brown sugar 1 c. white sugar 4˝ c. flour Should you use butter, heat it until softened; there is no need to heat shortening. Add the sugars. The world works better with racial harmony, and so do these cookies. Use equal amounts of brown and white sugar. (Do not discriminate or the cookies will rise up against you. OK, maybe not, but they may stage a sit-in.) Throw in the vanilla and the eggs but do it gently; remember the eggs were separated from their mother at a frighteningly young age. Mix well. Next add flour, salt, and baking soda. Pulverize the dough until it is a uniform color. Add the chocolate chips. Distribute the chips evenly throughout the dough. There is nothing worse than a naked cookie. If these are butter/margarine-based cookies, chill the dough for at least twenty minutes. Chilled dough is happy dough. If you plan to chill it overnight, cover unsparingly with plastic wrap. A short-term chill may happen in the freezer, but an overnight chill must occur in the refrigerator. If you mistakenly chill the dough in the freezer overnight, say hello to your new bowling ball. The dough will be adequately chilled when it can stand on its own. To see if the dough is ready, grasp the edges of the cookie bowl firmly on either side. Hold the bowl up on end. If the cookie dough barely moves, the dough has been properly chilled. When ready to bake, heat the oven to 350°. Plop twelve jawbreaker-sized bundles of chocolate onto an ungreased cookie sheet. Roast them for no more than ten minutes. Your cookies must bake in the oven, not age. The cookies should be domed-not-doughy on top and golden-not-brown on bottom. They will darken and wrinkle in the sunlight just like the rest of us. If you get a doughy/brown combination, cut the heat back to 325°. The time can be stretched beyond ten minutes, but this is not typically a good practice. If you peer into the oven and think that the cookies are not quite done, that’s when they are done. Take them out immediately; let your stomach be your guide. If you were overeager and overbaked the cookies, they will become hard and indestructible. Tell the children that the cookies are playthings. Have faith in the little tikes; these are the same kids who sit on the kitchen floor playing with oatmeal boxes. You may want to leave the cookies on the pan for a little while before removing them. The chocolate will be too hot to eat immediately anyway. This way when you spatula the cookies off the pan they won’t scrunch up into a wrinkly oval. Relax and enjoy the fruit of your labor. Cookies are good alone or with a friend.